One step forward, two steps back.

 
I honestly knew as I was writing my last post about how much better sleep was going, that I was pretty much jinxing the whole enterprise. I should know this because I’m a nurse. It’s like the golden rule of working at a hospital. If your shift is going well and things are quiet, DO NOT SAY THAT OUT LOUD. You literally cannot say the word “quiet” in a hospital without getting dirty looks. 

And I think I made the mistake of saying the words “sleeping better” out loud, or at least typing them out loud. Yesterday we were firmly back in Struggleville, population mom and baby.  Ryley’s longest nap was 35 minutes. She had to be rocked to sleep for all of her naps. Bedtime Diet Cry It Out was a total disaster and she ended up coming into bed with me at 8:30. And then she comfort ate pretty much the entire night long.

Sleep fail.

So far today it’s also not going great. She wouldn’t go down awake for her first nap, a skill she had previously seemed to master. And even though she’s sleeping while I write this, something tells me this nap will not last long either. 

I’m trying very hard to resist frustration and disappointment. I know logically that there are a slew of (temporary) reasons to explain her sleep getting bad again. She could be going through a growth spurt, learning a new skill (she has suddenly gotten really into screaming, even when she is happy and playing). She could have bad gas. It could be the full moon and she is turning into a baby werewolf. She could have read my last blog and thought mom got a little too big for her britches and needed to be taken down a peg or two. 

Or it could just be the fact that nothing with babies is perfectly linear. It’s a squiggly line, not an arrow. Today just happens to be a down squiggle. Tomorrow will hopefully be an up squiggle. 

And until then there is coffee. So much coffee. 

sam
8/17/2016 09:32:42 am

“Or it could just be the fact that nothing with babies is perfectly linear” —> yes! im learning that now!

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Bronwyn
8/20/2016 11:33:49 pm

I’ve been reading your blog whilst rocking my beautiful little 10week old boy to sleep for his nap, and I’ve been alternating between laughing (quietly) and crying (messily). You’ve really captured how I feel. It is so refreshing to hear that someone else is having nap “issues” too and that things are not perfect. Against all the expert advice, my little one will not fall asleep during the day without rocking, and if I try to put him down “drowsy but not asleep”, you can hear the screams of indignation several kilometres away. I like to think I am a smart lady, but this nap business has brought me to my knees (literally sometimes because I am that tired). However, I am focussing on perspective – as you are – on the positives: that this is biologically “normal” and the ultimately fleeting moment in time that these sleep problems are. That, and coffee.
Love your writing and your honesty.

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Liz
8/26/2016 07:15:00 am

Bronwyn, I feel your pain! It’s amazing how smart women like us can feel reduced to helplessness by a baby’s sleep patterns! I really do think so much is out of our control and remembering that helps ease the frustration. All babies sleep eventually (at least I tell myself that!!). We’ll get through it!

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