Just popping in with a few random thoughts:
1. Just finished reading Busy Phillips’ book, This Will Only Hurt a Little. My reading has slowed down quite a bit since I stopped breastfeeding (one of the few unheralded advantages of middle of the night feeds is the time to read tons of ebooks). Bobby almost always sleeps through the night these days, but he was up a few nights last week teething and I devoured this book in a few late night glider sittings. I love her and her book and thought it was honest and funny and unflinching (and lots of juicy Hollywood insider stories, the Dawsons Creek ones were of particular interest to me since I lived for that show as a middle schooler, back when Richmond didn’t even have a WB and we had to record the episodes (on OUR VCRS!) at like 2am on a Sunday when our local NBC station played them). Anyways, definitely a great read if you want something funny but also raw and human and messy.
2. Ryland is 2-ing SO hard right now. Just 2-ing it right up. Her parent teacher conferences were yesterday, and her sweet teachers went on and on about how great she always is in class and how she never throws tantrums and shares well and just is always smiling. And I literally wanted to show them a picture of Ryland and confirm we were talking about the same child. I mean I love her more than life. But let’s just say that at home, girlfriend is not a magical unicorn of love and glitter and everything sweet. She can be a straight up hell beast. The last two days I’ve tried to go for afternoon walks and Ryland has spent half each walk throwing herself down on the sidewalk and shrieking so loud I’m pretty sure every single one of my older (and probably half deaf) neighbors lost what remained of their hearing. It’s fun.
3. Speaking of kids being hell beasts, I was listening to a podcast the other day (Dax Shepherd Armchair Expert, something else I highly recommend!), and I can’t remember who the guest was but they were talking about having kids and what it does to your life. And the guest basically said that kids don’t change your life, they destroy it. Literally tear it apart. But that once you accept that and stop trying to hold onto your old life, things get a lot easier. And I thought that was so true and profound and accurate. Kids annihilate your old life. 100%. They burn your metaphorical home to the ground. And that sounds horrible and terrifying, and it kind of is. But the miracle of children, and the reason people keep having them, is that even though they destroy the life you knew for the first however many years of your life, they usher in a new world and existence that is gross and painful and messy (so messy, just never ending chaos and clutter and loudness), but also beautiful and good in ways that redefine those words. I just thought that was sort of a wonderful, poetic way to think about having kids.
4. Lastly (and I know it’s annoying to end a list on #4, but the zoo animals are getting restless and it’s about time to go throw some random assortment of food at them and call it “dinner”), but y’all, my house is conspiring against me. I know that sounds insane, but hear me out. In the last 2 months, we have had to service our dishwasher (that wasn’t the dishwasher’s fault, ended up being faulty wiring, in a 3 year old house!), our garbage disposal (also not its fault technically, there was a screw in it), and our dryer (that was its fault, broken pulley). And in the next few days I have appointments for our fridge (issues with defrosting and a loud buzzing noise) and our dishwater (broken rubber gasket that turns our laundry room into a small pond whenever the machine runs). WTF universe? Really? I mean, I know in the grand scheme of things, this is the kind of “problem” that sort of defines the term privilege. And none of these things are that big of a deal. But can just one major appliance not break for the next few weeks. Please. You would think that living in a new construction house would mean zero maintenance and upkeep, but since modern appliances are literal garbage, that’s not the case. And at least I have gained some wisdom from all of this, which is to NEVER BUY SAMSUNG AGAIN AS LONG AS I LIVE.